Candidate for central Indiana county treasurer promises not to steal money (she also knows how to count)

Ann Collins, a Midwestern treasure who is running for treasurer of Monroe County, Indiana, has perfected the art of the campaign billboard ad in an election season that has seen no end of amateurish nonsense. No, Ann Collins is a professional who wants to be the treasurer of Monroe County, dammit, and what better way to do that than assure people that you have the most basic qualities that a person would look for in a treasurer?

Ann Collins won’t steal. AND she knows how to count. If that’s not enough to win the election, then I don’t want to take part in American politics anymore.