Valentine’s Day. The one holiday that manages to disappoint everyone—and subject single people to a special form of cultural torture. During the first two weeks of February, the holiday looms overhead, like a giant black cloud shouting You’re alone! Remember how alone you are? Rememberrrrrrr?
For everyone who's over it—over it!—let us help you channel those feelings through cats.
Your plan to time-travel to March failed, and your coupled friends keep asking: "What are you doing for Valentine’s Day?!"
Stay calm. It’s not their fault.
"Seriously, no plans? What about a meet-up group? Have you thought of joining Tinder?"
Get away from me!
But you’re totally fine—you don’t need a date. You’re happy with your lot in life.
Besides you have plenty of things to do on Valentine’s Day. Your schedule is packed!
Of course you’re not gonna just stay in bed all night watching The Fall. What kind of lame-o wants to do that?
"I know someone who’s perfect for you!" says someone who doesn’t know anyone perfect for you.
Shhh! No talking now.
Finally you agree to go out with a group of friends. "You’ll have fun!" they say.
Not counting on it.
One last mirror check. Not that you care. But just in case, you know?
At the bar you feel good, confident. Time to make some friends of the opposite sex.
Luckily all your friends saw your "flirting." No pity hugs please.
Must. Leave. Now.
You gave it your best shot. Time to go crawl in a hole and die.
Am I invisible yet?
Defeated, you head home. Happy to get back to doing what you do best.
Oh, it's a text! You’re not alone after all!
Where is that damn phone?!
Sigh. It’s your friend. Her boyfriend proposed at midnight.
Time to go to your happy place.
That’s the stuff.
Hey, you may not have love—but at least you have this banana.
Taryn Hillin is Fusion's love and sex writer, with a large focus on the science of relationships. She also loves dogs, Bourbon barrel-aged beers and popcorn — not necessarily in that order.