Photo: Getty

Beto O’Rourke is going to the University of Wisconsin—Madison on Friday for a brief grip-and-grin with students and faculty.

According to the Washington Post, Beto’s two-hour event “is not open to the press, public or anyone not affiliated with the university” and will take place in a room set to hold 150 people—a far cry from the thousands who came to see him Monday in El Paso, TX.

So why is this Texan headed to Wisconsin in the middle of February? Does he like cheese? Will he try some delicious, beefy Babcock ice cream? Will he wear a goddamned jacket this time?

As a moderately proud UW graduate myself, I wish I had an answer for you. Really I do. Maybe Beto will explain everything in an angsty blog about jogging, or some shit like that. It’s hardly a stretch to imagine a former punk rocker going to Madison of all places, and journaling his feelings. I hope he likes cows.

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C’mon dude, just declare already. This is getting ridiculous.