Illustration for article titled Cohen Straight to Hell: Splinters Michael Cohen Testimony Liveblog
Photo: AP

As President Donald Trump glad-hands with North Korean leader Kim Jong-un in Vietnam, his former attorney, fixer and close confidante Michael Cohen will be busy testifying on Capitol Hill for what could very well be his last major public appearance before getting locked away for a pretty long time for committing a ton of crimes.

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While we don’t know what Cohen will say when questioned by the House Oversight committee—or what he’s already told lawmakers behind closed doors—his prepared opening remarks officially accuse the president of engaging in criminal conduct while in the White House, and knowing of Roger Stone’s plans to release stolen Democratic National Committee emails through Wikileaks. Cohen also plans to bring receipts. (Trump and the White House have denied his claims and said he is a deeply unreliable witness.)

Given the fact that Cohen already pleaded guilty to lying to Congress once before, it’s a virtual guarantee that his testimony today will be the sort of all-you-can-eat buffet for committee members on both sides of the aisle who are eager to draw blood in a televised feeding frenzy.

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So join me, as we descend into the depths of hell for this absolute political shit show. I promise we’ll get through this the only way we can—together.

Our sister site Lifehacker has a guide to how to stream the testimony:

Senior writer. When in doubt he'll have the soup.

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