President Donald Trump gave a speech at the House Republican Conference Member Retreat dinner in Baltimore in the middle of the third Democratic presidential debate, and it’s clear that’s where his head actually was. Trump can’t get through a speech — even one like Thursday’s that was basically a recitation of the past four years in chronological order — without talking about his Democratic opponents.
“I hit Pocahontas way too early,” Trump said about Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA). “I thought she was gone. She’s emerged from the ashes and now it looks like she could beat Sleepy Joe, he’s falling asleep. He has no idea what the hell he’s doing or saying.”
Sleepy Joe, obviously, refers to Joe Biden, the man with the pink eye. Pocahontas references Warren’s misstep of trying to assert that she has First Nations heritage.
But don’t worry, almost half of the Democratic presidential field is alive and well in Trump’s every thought. He called Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) Crazy Bernie. “He is a crazy guy,” Trump said. Later, Trump attempted to make a funny/exaggerated pronounce of Pet Buttigieg’s name.
It’s not only current Democrats running for president though! A Trump speech isn’t a Trump speech if Hillary Goddamn Clinton doesn’t show up. “She would make two stops and say I have to rest a couple of weeks, let me rest a couple of weeks. She didn’t like stairs, she didn’t like airplanes,” Trump said of Clinton.
I wish my rent was as free as all the Democrats in Trump’s head.