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Two people were attacked by sharks off the coast of Oak Island, North Carolina, over the weekend, but don't worry—you don't need a bigger boat.

Roy Scheider demonstrates how not to react to this Oak Island news. (Credit: Universal Pictures)

Reuters reports that a 14-year-old girl was seriously wounded around 4 p.m. Sunday; about two miles east and an hour and a half later, a 16-year-old boy was mauled by a separate shark. Despite their injuries, both teenagers were in good condition Monday morning, the North Carolina News & Observer reports.

The two attacks occurred in waist-deep water not far from the beach, but Gib Brogan, Oceana's Fisheries Campaign Manager, told Fusion that it's "not uncommon" to find sharks in such shallow, coastal waters. He explained that, because the attacks happened close to a fishing pier, the sharks might have been attracted to the area after smelling bait in the water.


"Most shark attacks are accidental on the shark's part. They're not intentionally attacking humans," he said, before comparing your average shark attack to a "case of mistaken identity."

The Florida Museum of Natural History's International Shark Attack File lists 72 confirmed cases of unprovoked shark attacks on humans worldwide in 2014, four of which occurred in North Carolina.


"The most important thing to remember is that shark attacks are extraordinarily rare," Brogan added, "and that these things happening in rapid succession are even more rare."

In other words, your small boat is fine. The only legit fear you should have be harboring right now is that some terrible person on your timeline will make, like, a Left Shark joke or something.


Roy Scheider demonstrates the appropriate way to react to a Left Shark joke made four months after the Super Bowl. (Credit: Universal Pictures)

Bad at filling out bios seeks same.