Drake at the ESPYs: Who Gets His Friendship Bracelet?

“Drake! So good to see you buddy,” says LeBron James as he walks up to the 2014 ESPYs host.

“Hey Drizzy, you owe me $10 from when we went to see Frozen together,” says Kobe Bryant, as he taps Drake on the shoulder.

LeBron and Kobe lock eyes. Drake makes this face, and says in a semi-questioning tone, “no new friends?“

At least, that’s what I think will will happen on July 16 at the 22nd annual ESPN awards show. Yesterday Drake was announced as the host, and while some say it’s because of his successful SNL hosting gig, others say it’s because of his “experience in sports pop culture scenes.” My guess, however, is that ESPN is slowly hiring Drake to become the channel’s full-time mascot.

It’s totally fine to be a fan of multiple players or teams — and as a non-sports fan I say more power to people who don’t commit their lives to only one team. But to prance around taking selfies with the hottest players of the moment and sitting courtside cheering all of the best teams makes you a show-off — and nobody likes a showoff.

We all remember when Drake cozied up to the Miami Heat last year during the playoffs and assumed he could walk right into the locker room after they won the NBA championship. The security guard stopped the entitled rapper and said “No access,” to which Drake responded in the most punchable way imaginable, “No access to everybody but us?”

But of course this didn’t stop the “biggest bandwagon jock-sniffer” from partying with the team with champagne and pizza at a Miami nightclub later on. Such a mooch.

But all that front-running and awkward hugging has paid off, I guess, as now he’s hosting the biggest (and only) awards show in sports entertainment. And besides wondering who he’ll walk down the red carpet with (my vote is Chris Andersen), I have to give credit to the ESPYs for creating a reason for me to watch an awards show full of people I’ve never heard of.

Romina Puga is a pop culture reporter and producer for Fusion. You can find her on “Fusion Now,” Fusion’s daily TV updates, going over new movies, music, apps, and why D’Angelo is still sexy.