Dumb Starbucks Man: Believe Biden's Accusers But This Whole Thing Is Veeeery Suspicious

This image was removed due to legal reasons.

Former Starbucks CEO and potential independent presidential candidate Howard Schultz doesn’t know how a lot of things work. On Thursday, Schultz continued to reveal just how little he understands about us commoners at a Fox News town hall, during which he was asked about the women coming forward to say former Vice President Joe Biden has made them feel physically uncomfortable.


Schultz responded by talking about President Donald Trump’s behavior, then pivoted to saying The Voters must decide whether Biden is qualified to run for president, thereby excusing himself from saying whether men who make women feel uncomfortable with unwanted touching are presidential material.

He went on to say there’s “no room in American life” (lol) for disrespecting women, or anyone for their “station in life, color of their skin, ethical background” (LOL).

Fox News host Martha MacCallum then asked Schultz about Biden’s accusers, again attempting to get Schultz to say if Biden’s behavior is disqualifying. Schultz, again, wouldn’t quite answer that, but did us all one better by suggesting the timing of this is all veeeeery suspect while maintaining the women should still be believed.

“There’s no reason for anyone to believe that these women are not telling the truth,” he said. “I think this kind of behavior is certainly inconsistent with how to behave, and how to respect women. And it’s concerning.”

He continued: “However, Vice President Biden has served the country for 40 years. [He] has been vice president for eight years. The only thing I would ask is one question: Why is this coming up now?”


He’s hopeless, folks. But just hopeful enough for the audience to clap when he told Bret Baier he wouldn’t vote for Biden, but for himself. Profiles in bravery!

Correction: A previous version of this post described Schultz as a “Democratic presidential candidate.” He has not officially announced yet, but has said that if he does run, it’ll be as an independent.

Splinter Staff Writer, Texan