Elizabeth Warren Narrowly Avoids Massive Lemonade Gaffe

Earlier today, I became extremely concerned about the state of Sen. Elizabeth Warren’s campaign in Iowa, due to this tweet:

Wow. Paying $7 for lemonade??? No. Not even $7. A full $10???? Sen. Warren, that is like, higher than ballpark prices. You got scammed! Warren should know better—after all, she’s a self-proclaimed capitalist! She should simply have told those girls that she saw another lemonade stand one block back that was selling bigger cups for $5. A major gaffe here if you ask me. Imagine that. $7 for lemonade, in IOWA!

Then I started to come around: ACTUALLY, Elizabeth Warren paying $10 for lemonade is praxis. She’s redistributing wealth! Warren is not a poor woman. Perhaps these aspiring young entrepreneurs simply saw an opportunity to let her put her money where her mouth was, and pass some of her and her husband’s nearly $900,000 joint income in 2018 to the (future) voters of Iowa. Inspiring stuff, if you look at it that way.

Apparently in response to wide outrage, the reporter tweeted out a clarification that Warren’s $10 bought SEVEN lemonades. WHEW!

Glad we could get to the bottom of Lemonadegate 2019 quickly so the the campaign can return to the core issues, like whether or not her gorgeous dog is real.