Every Time I Read This Word I Want to Die

It’s not even a real word, but it’s been sapping my will to live for, oh, about 10 hours now: covfefe.

If you’ve touched a computer today, this means something to you. And you are stupider for it.

Trump tweeted a typo. He later cracked a joke at his own expense about the typo. Approximately 13,509,346,034,638 “jokes” later, it still hasn’t died: the Associated Press wrote a pronunciation guide (cuv-fey-fey, they say), it’s been relentlessly meme-ed, and then Sean Spicer, a man who somehow is still gainfully employed, poured gasoline on the fire by cryptically and humorlessly defending the tweet during Wednesday’s White House press briefing.

Let me say this here, one last time: every time I read this word, another small piece of my blackened soul flakes off and falls into the abyss. I would very literally rather be dead than endure even another hour of this inexplicable nightmare. Shut the fuck up, already.