Everyone in DC's Elite Sucks Exactly as Much as Louise Linton

Louise Linton, infamous wife of Goldman Sachs foreclosure vampire and Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin, just wants to do one more interview to show us that she’s definitely not a bad person.

Since her husband’s appointment to Donald Trump’s cabinet, Linton has face-planted time and time again—first when she lost it on Instagram and called an Oregon mother “adorably out of touch” because she wasn’t insanely wealthy, and again when she was photographed wearing comically evil-looking gloves and holding up a sheet of money with Mnuchin.

The last time we heard from Linton was when she sat down for an interview with Elle. There, she tried to rehabilitate her image by pretending she was a Normal Person, but instead came off exactly like the insane rich girl that everyone thinks she is. Now Linton has a profile in Washingtonian magazine headlined “Is DC Being Too Mean to Louise Linton?” to ostensibly rehabilitate her rehabilitated image and show us how hard life is for her in the capitol.

Surprise: her image rehab still isn’t working. Her response to the photo with the gloves is: “Whatever. I liked that outfit, okay?” She loves SoulCycle and a source told the magazine that when Mnuchin—whom Linton calls her “hubsies”—takes a class with her, she turns around and blows him a kiss between songs. One of her dogs is named Beersy, which is short for De Beers. De Beers.

When asked about Trump’s very obvious racism, Linton says, “I can only speak to my experience seeing the President in person, and I’ve only seen him be warm, kind, and respectful to everyone regardless of their gender, race, nationality, or identity.” When describing the incredibly down-to-earth task of decorating her new $12.6-million DC home, Linton emphasizes, “I didn’t hire a decorator. I did it myself. I spent the days mostly in this exact outfit—this coat, these Ugg boots, leggings, no makeup, my hair tied up in a bun, Ubering back and forth between the hotel and the house, measuring.”

But if Linton comes off bad, the rest of the back-stabbing elite DC denizens featured in the article somehow only come off worse. One “well-regarded philanthropist” told Washingtonian that she was aghast when Linton once changed her—get this—place card at a dinner. Another person commented that Linton “would never be invited to Katharine Graham’s parties.” Kellyanne Conway said in defense of Linton, “I always wanted to say to others, ‘I’m sorry she’s gorgeous, she’s skinny, she’s young!’”

The problem isn’t that DC is being too mean to Louise Linton. It’s that everyone else should be meaner to all of these freaks in DC.