Farewell Ryan Zinke, an Idiot Until the End

Photo: Pool-Oliver Contreras (Getty)

Today is Ryan Zinke’s last day as Secretary of the Interior in the Trump Administration, and I think I speak for most people when I say: Good. Great. Piss off. Next.

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Zinke, a horse-riding doofus, spent much of his disastrous tenure doing things like gunning for the title of “biggest federal grifter” (a spot graciously vacated by former EPA chief Scott Pruitt) and thanking the president for Christmas. True to form, Zinke’s final act in the Trump administration was a friendly reminder of just how laughably bad he was in the first place.

I humbly ask you, dear reader: What the hell?

Let’s ignore, for a second, that Zinke’s final act as a federal officer was to scribble an illegible deep thought praising the catastrophic job he’s done using what appears to have been a Crayola washable marker. Instead, let’s focus on the fact that he literally wrote out “@ Interior Secretary”

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This raises two possibilities:

1) Zinke actually writes like this. It’s like when someone says the word “hashtag” out loud.

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2) Zinke (or some aide) typed a painfully lukewarm tweet, looked at it and thought “you know...this needs a more personal touch. I’m going to copy it word for word in a child’s marker.

Goodbye Ryan Zinke, you bigoted, generic goon. Ride your dumb horse off into the sunset and stay there.

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About the author

Rafi Schwartz

Senior writer. When in doubt he'll have the soup.