Fox News Found the Perfect Woman-Hater to Replace Bill O'Reilly

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The Fox News primetime news slot left vacant by the sudden firing of alleged sexual predator Bill O’Reilly has been filled by none other than longtime conservative pundit and perpetual douche Tucker Carlson.


News of Carlson’s promotion was first reported by NPR media correspondent David Folkenflik, who tweeted,“A new generation takes over the most valuable real estate in cable news.” (Carlson is 49.)

Carlson, whose affinity for terrible opinions is second only to his love of voicing those terrible opinions on air, will now be the face of Fox News’ efforts to salvage its plummeting brand following a series of high-profile sexual harassment allegations which also saw former CEO Roger Ailes ouster last year.

That’s the same Carlson who allegedly called Hillary Clinton his “guilty fantasy bedmate” (“Every time I see her I think I could, you know, help … She seems tense”) and claimed that all women “want to be listened to, protected and amused, and they want to be spanked vigorously every one in a while,” and wondered if women who made money were a source of “disharmony in the home,” and did many appalling and sexist things while he was running the Daily Caller.

Sounds like a Fox picked the perfect replacement for O’Reilly after all!

Senior writer. When in doubt he'll have the soup.