Fox News Host Floats an Anti-Gun Violence Plan That Is as Gross as It Is Stupid

Fox News
Fox News

Following the mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, FL, on Wednesday, Fox News host Greg Gutfeld revealed a foolproof plan to safeguard America’s children. No, it’s not gun control! It’s making children learn “hand-to-hand combat.”

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Slouching in his chair during Thursday evening’s episode of Fox News’ The Five, Gutfeld offered up his modest proposal (emphasis mine):

You have to teach them how to respond. You have to be rational about it, which means hardening soft targets through drills and training. Learning combat. Learning hand-to-hand combat. This works, by the way, for terror, if there’s a terror attack, and it works for school shootings which is essentially domestic terror.

Ah yes, if only those soft, fleshy targets (read: unarmed schoolchildren) were hardened enough to rush an armored assailant with an automatic rifle to deliver a devastating judo flip, things would definitely be better for this fucked up country. It’s beyond dumb, obviously, but it’s also nihilistic and disgusting!

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“You have to train a kid to go to school?” co-host Juan Williams asked, incredulously. “That’s kind of sad to me.” Gutfeld, however, was having none of it. “Self defense classes are the best thing for a kid,” he insisted.

Or, y’know...ban guns? Just a thought.

Senior writer. When in doubt he'll have the soup.

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