'Full House' house for sale for $4.15 million; you will never achieve your childhood dreams

Are you a widower with three children and some (possibly) freeloader friends who want to live with you allegedly to take care of your children?

Then we’ve got the perfect house for you! It’s slightly used: Not only was it originally constructed in 1883, but it once (and now again) houses the Tanner family from Full House and it’s for sale for $4.15 million.

Wait, what? $4.15 million?!! Didn’t Danny Tanner turn 30 years old in the first season of Full House?

It’s time for a brutal life lesson: Your childhood television shows lied to you and you will never achieve your dreams of living in that world. You will never afford the apartment on Friends either, and oh hey remember Cliff Huxtable? No, don’t do it.

Although under further review, it appears that on a show where Danny Tanner is a widower with three children with a successful journalism career before he turned 30 that the biggest fiction is the house itself.

While there is a finished basement with a bathroom where Joey lived and then later become a recording studio, the real estate listing mentions no attic for Uncle Jesse and Rebecca and the twins. There are three bedrooms, not four, so all three girls would have to share a bedroom or something. And there’s apparently a “formal dining room,” which we never once saw because why eat in a nice dining room when you can sit on a bench in the kitchen?

The house is being re-filled with DJ’s family in the Netflix sequel, Fuller House. The listing does not mention if they will come with the house, since this family does not like to move or become less co-dependent.

Given the differences between the house’s interior and the set that actually doesn’t make sense (how can there be four huge bedrooms above those two regular-sized rooms on the first floor?), it’s perhaps unsurprising that the show was filmed on a lot in Burbank.

As you start crying about your lot in life since you not only can’t afford the house at 1709 Broderick St. but you also could never support friends and family members who don’t appear to pay rent in it, San Francisco in the past 30 years has undergone a dramatic change due to gentrification and the booming tech industry. A 2014 Brookings study named the city has having the fastest-growing income inequality in the nation, and San Francisco was recently named the least affordable city in the world