Good God It's Come to This

Photo: Alex Wong (Getty)

As congressional Democrats ready themselves for the upcoming impeachment battle over President Donald Trump’ soliciting Ukraine’s help in investigating campaign rival Joe Biden’s son, the White House is reportedly also readying itself for battle in the worst way.

According to a CNN report on Thursday, former Trump campaign manager and walking colostomy bag Corey Lewandowski has been meeting with administration officials over the past several days as part of talks to potentially spearhead the White House’s impeachment team. Per CNN, Lewandowski—who was axed by the Trump campaign, reportedly got into a brawl with then-White House Chief of Staff John Kelly, and is now considering a run for New Hampshire’s senate seat in 2020—would lead the administration’s “strategy and messaging” in the coming fight.

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The possibility of Lewandowski’s return as the president’s chief pugilist was likely raised after his kamikaze performance before the House Judiciary Committee earlier this month, where he bragged about lying to the press but earned public accolades from his target audience.

So far, Trump has completely flubbed his response to the looming impeachment battle, reportedly spending the past few days in “disbelief” that his mega-brain strategy of releasing a document that clearly incriminated him hadn’t succeeded in quashing the case against him.

If Lewandowski does, in fact, end up quarterbacking the president’s defense squad, it’s safe to assume that however bad things were already shaping up to be, he’ll succeed in making them much, much worse.

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About the author

Rafi Schwartz

Senior writer. When in doubt he'll have the soup.