Great News: Jake Paul Has Solved School Shootings

This image was removed due to legal reasons.

YouTube celebrity Logan Paul has mostly stayed under the radar this year after posting footage of a dead body on his YouTube page. As is outlined in the 25th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, this means the momentous task of solving America’s biggest issues has fallen to his younger brother, Jake. On Jake’s docket today: school shootings.


“The only thing I can do in this situation is go ground floor, talk to a bunch of people who were in the shooting, outside of the shooting, teachers of the school, the Parkland County commissioner, and figure out what needs to be done, and give that message to as many people as I possibly can,” the star of videos like “WORLDS BIGGEST GAME OF JENGA (INSANE TOWER FALL)” says at the start of a nearly-22 minute video released today called “It’s Time To End School Shootings.”

Youtube: Jake Paul

Over the course of the video — which has over 514,000 views at the time of this posting — Paul talks to Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School students, their families, and elected officials, such as Broward County Commissioner Michael Udine and Florida Senator Marco Rubio. “Hey, what’s up man,” Paul asks the junior senator from Florida.

“Nothing...out,” Rubio responds. Then Paul gets into the nitty gritty of gun policy, by asking how laws are made.

Paul eventually concludes, after visiting Parkland and thinking super-hard about it, that we need a five-step plan to end gun violence. His plan has nothing to do with actual gun control. (As The Daily Beast’s Taylor Lorenz points out, Paul has featured guns before in his videos and has a tattoo of an assault rifle.)

“I walked away with about five big things,” Paul says. Here’s his plan.

  • “Every family that I talked to talked about having bulletproof windows inside on the doors,” Paul says. “It could have saved five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten lives.”
  • “I actually found out from the Parkland commissioner that they have like, 200 something schools and roughly 150 school resource officers,” Paul says. “Having more school resource officers allows more ears throughout the school.” (The Stoneman Douglas police officer never went inside the building.)
  • “I know on Instagram, if a girl posts a picture with her nipples out, it automatically gets flagged and removed from Instagram,” Paul says. “So why can’t we have that same technology with a kid taking a selfie with a handgun?
  • “There are like, these bulletproof shields, that can fit into laptop pouches of backpacks.” Presumably he’s talking about something like this, which is $900 and is “is aimed at executive and dignitary protection, home defense, workplace security, law enforcement, and first responders,” according to a New Atlas article from 2015. Here’s his demonstration of how the shields look:
This image was removed due to legal reasons.
  • If there was a check-in point, then this kid would have had to go by this check-in point, he would have had to have his ID and a reason to be there.”

All of these ideas, of course, would have the effect of turning schools into a prison and not actually doing anything about guns. After the video got some criticism for this, Paul posted an update on Twitter with gun reform proposals — “absolutely the most significant part of the overall conversation,” he says, though for some reason it wasn’t significant enough to include in his video — that include ending the gun show loophole by banning gun shows altogether:


The one useful thing Paul is doing is donating $25,000 to the March For Our Lives. So, that’s good!

News editor, Splinter