Illustration for article titled Greenland to Trump: Thanks for Your Interest! Unfortunately You Definitely Cant Buy Us
Photo: Sean Gallup (Getty)

Greenland: seems nice! It’s a land of many glaciers (which are melting) and copious natural resources (which can be exploited to melt the glaciers faster). It’s also very pretty! One thing it’s not: for sale.


Late yesterday, the Wall Street Journal reported President Donald Trump has floated the idea of buying Greenland “with varying degrees of seriousness” to numerous parties.


This prompted several questions, namely “can he do that?” and “Is uh... Greenland for sale?” Today, we have confirmation: Greenland is not for sale.

Thanks for clearing that up, Greenland! This is probably for the best, if they wanted to uh... keep their endangered species safe and not hack apart their country for oil and gas interests. Weird that they didn’t want to do that, it’s working out so well for us here!

Contributing Writer, Splinter

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