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What are we reading this morning? Take a look for yourself. Here's a link dump to go with that cup o' joe:

The kid responsible for the bomb scare at Harvard? Yeah, he did it to get out of a final.

#WhatTheFlorida: babysitter accidentally burns child's face with an iron, proceeds to take the kid to a parade.

Who cares if Santa Claus is white. He might soon be replaced by drones anyway.

Migrants in Qatar building skyscrapers are going hungry and have gone a year without getting paid.

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Booze: it's good for you.

Cybercriminals are going after the super-wealthy and their pockets.

Yet another Bitcoin stumble caused by China.

This is kind of funny, but only because I'm a terrible person and find solace and comfort in the macabre: a man who won a trip on Ellen dies on said trip from a skydiving accident.

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Not sure how this constitutes as journalism, but okay. Woman gives up jogging in order to have a "perkier bottom."

Fidel Martinez is an editor at Fusion.net. He's also a Texas native and a lifelong El Tri fan.