Hear me out: The man who got arrested for shredding the National Anthem should run for president

Jason O. Gilbert
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YouTube/Zane Pittman

On July 4, a Jacksonville, Fl. resident named Lane Pittman absolutely crushed the National Anthem on his electric guitar at an outdoor Independence Day party. Watch the video above. He shreds it. This is high-quality guitar wailage.

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Incredibly, as Colin Wolf reports for the Orlando Weekly, Pittman was arrested moments later. The police had previously asked him not to shred face in the street; Pittman says he got permission from an officer to continue shredding it, so long as he shredded it on the sidewalk. But even after moving to the sidewalk, where he totally shredded, he was detained.

"I do not promote deliberately defying authority," Pittman explains in a YouTube comment. "I endorse good character and fun times within the system. I did not have a drop of alcohol in my system and was just trying to be as patriotic as I can, legally, on the day of our independence."

This man should run for president. This is a man who clearly understands America, right down to his finger bones. He has that patriotic spirit running through his bloodstream, which he is able to channel through the righteous peals of the electric guitar. No other candidate, in either party, would be able to so comprehensively melt your face over the course of the Star-Spangled Banner. Lane Pittman for President. Let freedom ring.

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