In these dark times, it’s important to find happiness where you can: In the laughter of a child, the melody of a favorite song, or—if you’re New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio—the joy that comes from chemically murdering an entire family of rats.
Gleefully declaring that he wants “to make the greatest city on Earth the worst place in the world to be a rat,” de Blasio spent his Tuesday afternoon in Bushwick, where he grinned from ear to ear as he watched a team of city workers gas a rodent colony to death.
With the intensity of a general plotting troop movements, de Blasio listened to the site supervisor explain how her crew would be shoveling chunks of dry ice into the rat burrow in order to suffocate the animals with the ensuing carbon dioxide.
“You know something? You’re a winner!” he declared, offering the sort of awkward high five that can only come when two adults discover their shared passion for killing rats.
However, at least one stubborn rodent managed to defy his death sentence, escaping not only the mayorally approved chemical bombardment, but the extermination crew’s boots and shovels. It was a shining example of New York resilience. What a town!