Every Star Wars fan knows that Yoda once said, "Do or do not, there is no try."
One page on the internet, however, is asking another question: Is that also what she said?
As Star Wars fans surely know and Star Wars non-fans will be entirely unsurprised to learn, there's a fan-maintained Star Wars wiki called Wookieepedia. That wiki has a delightful page titled "Sexual references in Star Wars (intentional or otherwise)," which is a collection of…the sexual references, intentional or otherwise, in Star Wars movies, video games, novels, and other parts of the extended universe. There's a fair bit there—especially when you're really looking for sexual references in Star Wars. .
The page stars off with a warning (that's always a good sign, right?):
WARNING: May offend some sensitive viewers, and contains some speculative references that many Star Wars fans find ridiculous. A list of references, suggestive or blatant, to sexuality in Star Wars, as well as dialogue that can be misconstrued as a references to sex but not intended as such.
Naturally, the movies come first, ordered chronologically within the Star Wars universe, so Episode I is first. That section contains such gems as "My parts are showing?" a C-3PO classic, and Han Solo's line "Sorry about the mess…"
There's also Han saying "Back door, huh? Good idea" (fair enough!); Princess Leia saying "There's an awful lot of moisture in here" (uhhh); and, naturally, Emperor Palpatine saying "Rise, my friend" (get it, like an erection).
Also included is Yoda's line "But now, we must eat. Come! Good food, come," the inclusion of which makes me nervous about some Wookieepedia editors' eating and/or sexual habits.
From there it gets at once more speculative and less subtle. There's a list of props and costumes…believed by some fans to "look like genitalia, or to have another sexual function." Here it is:
Darth Vader's helmet
Ponda Baba's tusks/mouth
Aayla Secura's clothing
Qui-Gon Jinn's holoprojector
Jabba's Palace (from a bird's eye view)
The back of a Quarren's head
For reference, here's what Bith fingers look like:
Hmm, yes, sex…y? This is Jabba's palace:
Come on, really? And this is the back of a Quarren's head:
Ok, I'll give them that one.
That is followed immediately by a list of revealing clothing in the movies as well as the broader Star Wars universe. These include Koyi Mateil, who "wears a top that reveals a lot of breast," and Nyrat Agira, "whose backside appears to be visible in her see-through pants." My stars!
Star Wars purists will note that Sexual references in Star Wars (intentional or otherwise) is not a page on the wiki per se, but a subpage of one of it's user's personal pages. When Wookieepedia was started in 2005 one of its earliest users (and an early admin) was an Australian user named Azizlight. Technically the page is a subpage of Azizlight's personal page, and not part of the encyclopedia proper. That matters because Wookieepedia, and Azizlight in particular, frown on the inclusion of what's called fanon (a portmanteau of fan and canon), fan created information about the Star Wars universe.
Perhaps the least subtle part is the list of actual sex scenes (implied or otherwise) in the Star Wars universe. Most of the scenes occur in the broader universe, and not in the main films: For instance "[i]n The Cestus Deception, Sheeka Tull and Jangotat have sex in the Zantay Caves." Nice. And who can forget when "Deena Shan sleeps with Imperial officer Kale Roshiur in order to feed him disinformation" and then "[s]he is drawn nude (albeit wrapped in a sheet) after the act."
Luke Skywalker and Han Solo also make appearances on the list; Han apparently has a couple of assignations in a novel called The Hutt Gambit. Narrowly following the actual sex scenes for lack of subtlety are descriptions of flirting options in Star Wars roleplaying video games like Knights of the Old Republic.
Since The Force Awakens is about to come out, I'm sure there'll be plenty of weird new speculative Star Wars sex stuff added to the page soon. In the meantime, though, make sure to peruse it to catch up on all your old speculative Star Wars sex stuff.
Fusion is partly owned by Disney’s ABC network. Disney also owns Star Wars.
Ethan Chiel is a reporter for Fusion, writing mostly about the internet and technology. You can (and should) email him at firstname.lastname@example.org