Well you know what they say folks: politics is all about getting down there and rollin’ in the mud. You know who knows all about that? Hogs. Here at Splinter, we’re committed to delivering all the timeliest hogs that’re fit to print. And here they are, from the Iowa State fair.
First, the biggest hog of all:
Oh, were there politicians at the Iowa State fair, too? Coulda fooled me. All I can see is hogs.
Damn. That’s a big hog. Here’s another big hog (the picture in the tweet is by Emily Blobaum, a journalist for Iowa public TV).
Good LORD that’s a big happy hog! If you’re worried about the hog chuggin’ beer, don’t be. According to my thorough research, hogs love brews. Also that hog weighs literally around a thousand pounds so he’s going to be fine. Captain, the winning hog in the first tweet above, drinks a shot of Captain Morgan some days after 5 p.m. According to the Des Moines Register, his owners say it “mellows him out.” Same, Captain.