How Paul Ryan is spending his extra-long 4th of July vacation after doing nothing about gun violence

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On Wednesday night, House Speaker Paul Ryan adjourned the House of Representatives until after the 4th of July weekend.

The adjournment, which came amid well-publicized protests by House Democrats, means that Congress isn’t likely to pass or even discuss any new gun control laws following the deadliest mass shooting in recent American history. It also effectively kicked off an extra-long, 12-day Fourth of July vacation for Ryan and for the rest of the House.


That’s a pretty sweet mid-summer vacation, and Paul Ryan and his fellow Republicans certainly earned it!

Let’s take a look at what Speaker Ryan plans to do with his super-sized Fourth of July weekend back home in Wisconsin:


Thursday, June 23: Veg out on the couch and unwind after a grueling month of not doing anything about gun violence.

Friday, June 24: Finally finish up long-neglected chores like cleaning out the garage —it's been a busy year of not doing anything about gun violence.

Saturday, June 25: Relax at the lake house, a peaceful place to get one’s mind off the gun violence legislation that was never passed or even voted on.

Sunday, June 26: Head to church to send thoughts and prayers to victims of gun violence, which is what we do instead of passing relevant legislation.


Monday, June 27: Workout day at the gym. No pain, no gain. (Also: no new laws in response to the thousands of people killed by guns in America every year.)

Tuesday, June 28: Potluck dinner at the Hendersons; bringing some zero-carb flaxseed bread, and also zero new ideas about how to curtail gun violence in the United States


Wednesday, June 29: Wow, is the two-week vacation from doing absolutely nothing about gun violence already half-over? Ultimate Frisbee time!

Thursday, June 30: Head to the beach—you’ll be back in Congress completely ignoring a deadly gun violence epidemic before you know it!


Friday, July 1: Sneak into the local office to finish a little work before heading back to D.C. (Don’t worry—none of the work has to do with preventing gun violence, or even allowing the CDC to study it!)

Saturday, July 2: Stock up on fireworks for the Fourth, a consumer good that is impossible to buy in Wisconsin without a permit—unlike, say, a semi-automatic rifle.


Sunday, July 3: Pack your suitcase for the return trip to Washington. Make sure to leave room in your bag for proposed legislation that would do literally anything to prevent enormous numbers of gun deaths. (LOL, just kidding!)

Monday, July 4: Celebrate the independence of the greatest country on earth, where you can serve proudly as an elected official who does absolutely nothing about a gun violence epidemic that kills 12,000 citizens a year. Shoot off those fireworks, baby!