In the immortal words of an elderly man named Billy, a British man was indeed thinking about thos Bean, singular, after he popped open a can of Heinz baked “Beanz” and made a shocking discovery: the can was almost all bean juice, with only one lonely bean.
Steve Smith, a local politician based in Bristol, tweeted video of the crime scene this week:
By Wednesday, he’d spoken to The Independent about the ordeal, which reported that the meal-in-a-can for British people is supposed to contain, “On average...about 465 beans.” Wow. Per the paper:
Steve Smith, 41, was looking forward to a quick, easy meal after getting home late from a busy day at work.
But when he opened a multipack tin of Heinz baked beans ready to tuck in, he was shocked to discover there was only one bean and some bean juice.
[...]
“I thought it was funny – but annoying. It was the last tin we had in the cupboard.
“I had to have scrambled egg instead.”
Mr Smith, Conservative councillor for Westbury-on-Trym and Henleaze, said he eats beans “once every couple of weeks”.
Funny...but annoying. Words I would use to characterize many, many things. And finally, a moment of silence for the poor Brits, condemned to eating such sad dinners as “scrambled egg” and “can of bean juice.” For what it’s worth, I asked Libby Watson, dearly departed friend of the site and Brit, if a can of beans is a normal meal.
“I mean not usually by itself but yeah,” she responded via text. “This is harassment btw.”
There you have it. Dark times for jolly old England indeed.