I;m thinking about thos Bean

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In the immortal words of an elderly man named Billy, a British man was indeed thinking about thos Bean, singular, after he popped open a can of Heinz baked “Beanz” and made a shocking discovery: the can was almost all bean juice, with only one lonely bean.

Steve Smith, a local politician based in Bristol, tweeted video of the crime scene this week:


By Wednesday, he’d spoken to The Independent about the ordeal, which reported that the meal-in-a-can for British people is supposed to contain, “On average...about 465 beans.” Wow. Per the paper:

Steve Smith, 41, was looking forward to a quick, easy meal after getting home late from a busy day at work.

But when he opened a multipack tin of Heinz baked beans ready to tuck in, he was shocked to discover there was only one bean and some bean juice.


“I thought it was funny – but annoying. It was the last tin we had in the cupboard.

“I had to have scrambled egg instead.”

Mr Smith, Conservative councillor for Westbury-on-Trym and Henleaze, said he eats beans “once every couple of weeks”.


Funny...but annoying. Words I would use to characterize many, many things. And finally, a moment of silence for the poor Brits, condemned to eating such sad dinners as “scrambled egg” and “can of bean juice.” For what it’s worth, I asked Libby Watson, dearly departed friend of the site and Brit, if a can of beans is a normal meal.

“I mean not usually by itself but yeah,” she responded via text. “This is harassment btw.”

There you have it. Dark times for jolly old England indeed.