Iggy Azalea has lost all the Grammys, her Papa John's order, and maybe life

Bad news: Something like an hour and a half before the official 57th annual Grammys broadcast had even started, all the rap awards had already been handed out. The more things change, the more things stay the same; in 1989, the first year the best rap performance award appeared, it wasn’t televised either.

However! Good news: Despite everyone’s reasonable fears, Iggy Azalea actually did not take home best rap album. That might be bad news if you pre-wrote a long thinkpiece on her potential win, but, good news! If it was race-related, you might be able to recycle it with a few edits, because Eminem took home the win for The Marshall Mathers LP 2.

Iggy could still take home a few pop awards — for record of the year, best new artist, and best pop duo/group performance — but it still isn’t her night. Because not only has she been quietly battling for rap-world acceptance, she’s also been battling for pizza. And she’s failed.

This explains so much. In the world of U.S. culture, Iggy’s understanding of hip-hop : what she does :: Iggy’s understanding of pizza : a love of Papa John’s.

Or, to quote our own Danielle Henderson:

Turns out, Iggy ordered Papa John’s with her actual number. Obviously things went in a way other than how she imagined.

Hey, Iggy, there’s a thing called Google Voice that creates a phone number you can give to people you don’t know or like. Or just use a handler’s number.

If it takes a team of people to create “your” record of the year nominee, don’t you have folks who can pinch hit for a pizza order?

Update at 8:11 p.m. ET: Iggy just lost best new artist to Sam Smith! Is artistic karma real?

Update at 11:13 p.m. ET: Iggy just lost her last shot at a Grammy, when Sam Smith — and NOT her — took home “Record of the Year.”