Inside the moaning, dripping world of Minion porn

It’s difficult to explain the Minions-porn phenomenon without Rule 34. Have you ever heard of Rule 34? Rule 34 is one of the “Rules of the Internet.” It states that if something exists, there’s pornography of it on the web. And even if Minion porn didn’t exist, Rule 35 argues that we would have willed it into existence just by thinking about it.

In this case, Rule 35 is unnecessary. Because Minion porn definitely exists.

To be clear, the Minions were created to be the cute, cuddly mascots for a big budget children’s franchise, similar to the stars of My Little Pony. And yet, as was true of the ponies from Equestria, Minions have become the objects of sexual obsession for a very niche group of adults on the internet.

Browsing through Minion porn is odd. There are 3D renders, handmade drawings, composite mashups, and lengthy fanfics depicting Stuart, Kevin, and Bob (the three most popular Minions) doing all sorts of risqué things to and with one another. Even though the Minions are genderless, much of the sexualized content of them assumes that they’re male.

Despite this, the Minions are rarely anthropomorphized to have anatomically human bodies. Rather, they’re left in their original forms, getting intimate with one another. There’s kissing, and licking, and a fair amount of boning (if you can call it that) but the images are decidedly unsexy.

The most popular Minion porn blogs on Tumblr (NSFW) tend to be yaoi, a style of sexual/romantic art that originated in Japan. Michivous12 is the moderator of Yaoi Minions, a community of about 200 highly-engaged Minion fans on Tumblr and DeviantArt. Her content focuses heavily on more graphic homoerotic images and of Minions, as well as the occasional tender moment between the yellow blobs.

Since starting the Yaoi Minions Tumblr last December, Michivous12 has received dozens of different questions and requests for custom drawings. Her DeviantArt account, which she started around the same time, has racked up over 40,000 page views since its creation.

“Honestly I was horrified when I first saw this blog,” an anonymous user wrote to the Minions Yaoi Tumblr. “But now I can’t stop looking at it and I actually get horny off the posts?”

Because this is the internet, Minion porn is also being used online to shock and troll unsuspecting people, but don’t feel too bad.

Minion porn is weird, yeah, and it may seem like something you’d worry about your kids stumbling upon. Forgetting the adult drawings, the vast majority of Minion fan art is silly drawings for (and by) children. You have to go searching for the weird stuff, and even then, there’s only so much of it. Don’t want to see it? Don’t go looking.