It's Just a Matter of Time Before Trump's Entire Cabinet Is Fox & Friends

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It seems like years of kissing Donald Trump’s ass and dedicating every minute of time to praising the objectively deranged policies of a wannabe dictator has paid off for some of the friends of Fox & Friends. On Wednesday, the president upgraded former Fox & Friends anchor Heather Nauert to the fourth-highest position in the State Department. Now, Trump is reportedly eyeing another Fox & Friends friend, Pete Hegseth, to potentially replace David Shulkin as Secretary of Veterans Affairs.


Hegseth is a veteran of the Iraq War and former executive director of the conservative groups Vets for Freedom and Concerned Veterans for America. He is also currently a co-host on the weekend edition of Fox & Friends, where he once accidentally struck a West Point Hellcats marching band drummer with a FUCKING AXE.

According to the Washington Post, Hegseth has pretty extreme views about reforming the VA, most of which include radically downsizing the government’s role in healthcare. But ultimately, his views don’t actually matter as much as the fact that the president likes watching him on the equivalent of Yo Gabba Gabba! for angry, white supremacist retirees. But Hegseth also has an even more direct influence on the president, as the Post noted:

Hegseth has been a confidant of Trump’s, who watches his Fox News show and frequently calls him to discuss veterans’ policy. Hegseth has dined at the White House and, during an Oval Office meeting between Trump and Shulkin last week, the president called Hegseth to seek his counsel on pending legislation that would expand private care.

Meanwhile Shulkin has allegedly fallen out of favor with the president, which might have something to do with him canceling morning briefs, essentially banning people he suspects are trying to get him fired, and posting armed guards outside his office. Or maybe it’s the fact that Shulkin’s office allegedly tried to alter documents to cover up some rather suspicious travel expenses racked up by Shulkin and his wife during a trip to Europe.

It seems that, either way, the writing is on the wall for Shulkin, and his replacement could be on TV. It’s only a matter of time before the entire Cabinet is just Fox & Friends. If Hegseth is somehow picked AND confirmed, everyone should be extra careful regarding rogue axes.

Isha is a staff reporter who covers pop culture, representation in media, and your new faves.