It's Not July 4th Without Super Patriotic Bald Eagle Gifs

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The United States is, by far, my favorite country. Not only because of its vast natural beauty and the innovative spirit of its people (and fast food franchises), but also because it embraced my family as they fled their homeland in search of a better life. However, I'm endlessly equal parts perplexed and delighted by the manner in which the Internet expresses its patriotism (or its satirization of said patriotism), particularly when it comes to one of my favorite genres of gif: American bald eagle gifs.

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Why are bald eagle gifs so %$*&ing weird? Let's take a look.

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You are beautiful just the way you are, bald eagle.

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Seriously, don't let anybody change you, bae.

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I never understand why bald eagles are depicted tearing through American flags. An eagle would never do something so unnecessarily violent and destructive to the flag. This is precisely why it was chosen over the reckless and anarchistic cockatoo. (And not the turkey, as many have been misled to believe.)

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This is terribly inappropriate, yet an accurate depiction of how I feel today.

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#TrueHistoryFacts: Elvis Presley flew an eagle to the United States in 1776, where he defeated the Canadian army and invented Hot Pockets.

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Is that Benedict Cumberbatch?

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This seems excessive.

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I'm crying, and each tear is forming the image of the Statue of Liberty high-fiving Teddy Roosevelt.

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I can't tell if this is real or not.

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Great Moments in American #Brand History

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"Beyonce can you seeeeee," am I right guys? Great joke. Perfect joke?

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