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The Associated Press reported on Monday that elfin scoundrel Jared Kushner has been under investigation by the White House Counsel’s office for two loans totaling almost $500 million that his company received last year.

In a March 22 letter to Illinois Democratic Rep. Raja Krishnamoorthi, David Apol, head of the Office of Government Ethics, said that the White House Counsel has been investigating the matter.

According to the AP, “Kushner met several times with Apollo co-founder Joshua Harris and discussed a possible White House job — followed by Apollo’s loan of $184 million to the Kushner family firm.” And last year, Citigroup lent $325 million to the Kushner Companies, shortly after Kushner met with Citi’s chief executive. Ethics laws prohibit officials from “participating in the particular matter affecting the employee’s financial interests.”

Apol’s letter also notes that while “routine consumer transactions” wouldn’t be considered a violation, “personally guaranteeing a large loan to a business” (like, say, $325 million from Citigroup) “typically does not constitute” a “routine consumer transaction.” No shit!

Kushner’s lawyer, Abbe Lowell, issued a statement to CBS News on Tuesday saying White House lawyers had concluded “there were no issues involving Jared,” though he gave no evidence for this. We have reached out to the Kushner Companies for comment and will update if we hear back.

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Congressional Democrats have demanded that the White House Counsel’s office reveal the contents of its inquiry into Kushner.

Don’t put much hope in anything actually happening to our waifish boy—or his company—in this particular avenue of investigation, because it’s just the White House counsel and he sucks. I actually wouldn’t be surprised if the matter being “under investigation” in this instance really means “it’s somewhere in a pile on his desk under a Lands End catalogue” but still. Lol.

Update, 3:35 PM: White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said in Tuesday’s press briefing that the White House is “not probing whether Jared Kushner violated the law,” though “we are aware of news reports and would proceed as appropriate.”

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