Jeff Sessions Confirms That Yes, of Course We're Taking Actual Infants From Immigrant Parents at Border

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In an interview on Tuesday with the conservative pundit Hugh Hewitt, sadistic elf Jeff Sessions emphasized there’s no one to blame for his policy of actively tearing undocumented immigrant children—including infants and toddlers—away from their parents but the parents themselves.

“If people don’t want to be separated from their children, they should not bring them with them,” Sessions told Hewitt. “We’ve got to get this message out.”


Sessions’ revolting assertion that immigrants are to blame for the United States’ policy of separating families comes on the heels of Oregon Senator Jeff Merkley’s claiming that he and his staffers “saw children in cages” at a Customs and Border Protection detention facility in McAllan, TX, after they were turned away by police from another privately-run facility in Brownsville.

For Sessions, keeping parents and children—and again, we’re talking about actual babies here—apart is simply the government doing its job, and isn’t that great?


“Most are not infants,” Sessions insisted. “Most are teenagers, although we do have a number of younger ones now, more than we’ve seen recently.”

Soooo...yeah, babies.

He continued:

They are maintained in a very safe environment not by the law enforcement team at Homeland Security, but put with Health and Human Services. And they are kept close by, and if the person pleads guilty, they would be deported promptly, and they can take their children with them. And, but we do, the Homeland Security can only keep these children for 72 hours before they go to Health and Human Services.

Go ahead and read that again. In the span of just three sentences, Sessions claimed that: DHS doesn’t keep kids locked up, and besides, they’re gonna get deported anyway, and OK, fine, yeah, DHS does keep them locked up, but only before passing them along to HHS. (He later added: “This is not like somebody getting ten years in jail,” so, whew, that’s a relief.)

Sessions went on to get positively wistful at how much of a bummer it is to tear kids away from their families:

I wish the system would allow for [children and parents to be kept together]. I wish we could afford to do that. And maybe we’ll head in that direction. I certainly think that would be preferable if we could do so. But the law says that parents who come unlawfully are subject to prosecution. And the law says we must carefully take care of any children that come, and they must be held not by the law enforcement branch, but held by our Health and Human Services branch to ensure they’re properly taken care of.


So listen up, undocumented immigrants desperately seeking a better life for your children any way you possibly can. Attorney General Jefferson Sessions has a message for you: If your kids get ripped out of your arms and locked up for 72 hours before being transported to a repurposed Walmart with blacked out windows that even a U.S. Senator can’t visit...well, that’s all on you.