Screenshot: Who Is America? (YouTube)

Fresh off his hilariously humiliating interview with Sacha Baron Cohen,Ā fascist former lawman, convicted criminal, and liver-spotted prune Joe Arpaio is making amends. Kind of.

ā€œQuite frankly, I made a bad mistake security-wise,ā€ Arpaio told the Washington Examiner, when asked about his chat with what he thought was a Finnish YouTube celebrity. ā€œThey said, ā€˜weā€™re doing a feature for Showtimeā€”the top 20 people in the United States.ā€™ It looked pretty nice [that] I made the top people.ā€

Vain and racist? Sheriff Joe, you contain multitudes.

But perhaps most interesting in Arpaioā€™s mea culpa is this exchange, in which he really gets to the core of his misinterpretation:

So heā€™s talking and I couldnā€™t understand him. Heā€™s talking about golden showers. I thought he was talking about ā€” the president has gold [in his shower].

ā€œAnd then handjob,ā€ Arpaio continued. ā€œWhat was that? He was talking about illegals coming over working with their hands on their job.


While itā€™s true that Trump does indeed have a gold-plated bathroom (the better to shit in, my dear) Arpaio is dead wrong about the ā€œhand jobā€ section of his segment. Here, verbatim, is what Cohen said in the interview:

Cohen: My first job was a hand job from my mother. It was newspapers. What was your first hand job?

Arpaio: So, let me say this. Me. Whatever I did in my life, I always did that extra. It gets me in trouble sometimes.

Cohen: You wanted to give the best hand job possible.

Arpaio: Extra, sometime.


As you can see, thereā€™s nothing mentioned about illegal immigration, or immigration at all. Given the fact that Arpaio is a crusty old racist, though, itā€™s not surprising that heā€™d leap to blaming ā€œillegalsā€ for his own damn screw up.