Johnny Manziel is technically being sued in Florida court for sexual harassment by a plaintiff who is seeking $25 million for “emotional distress.” The lawsuit was actually filed in a Florida Middle District Court in Tampa. It’s unknown if someone filed the lawsuit as a joke (but yes, it's probably fake/a hoax/a bad joke). It has to be one of the most insane lawsuits ever filed. Because what else would you expect now that Manziel's on the Browns?
Here are some excerpts:
“Manziel told me if I don't want him because his penis is small, when he gets drafted by the NFL he will get a penis enlargement and he'll be Long John Silvers.”
“Seeing Manziel with his small penis caused me psychological emotional distress. I had to see a Psychologist because I have nightmares of Manziel’s penis.”
Basically, it goes on and on about how Manziel texted pictures of his small man parts to the plaintiff’s Samsung phone (fingers crossed this is actually another viral marketing technique by Samsung).
The lawsuit also alleges that Manziel put a hot dog bun "between" his penis. It should be noted that that is physically impossible (putting a penis in between a hot dog bun, however, makes more sense).
Maziel’s agent, Eric Burkhardt, took to twitter to say the lawsuit is fake:
The lawsuit was filed by Samantha Schacher, who happens to be a CNN contributor and a co-host on Dr. Drew. This could explain why CNN’s headquarters is listed as the plaintiff’s address on the suit, and also why the suit claims that Manziel wanted to have a threesome with Dr. Drew (can’t make this up).
You can read the full lawsuit here. (You should. It’s a Friday before a holiday weekend, what else are you going to do?)