Just in Case They Didn't Before, Basically the Whole World Hates Us Now

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Welcome to WHAT NOW, a morning round-up of the news/fresh horrors that await you today.


President Donald Trump made good on his promise to put America first, no matter the cost, on Thursday when he announced America would stand alone as the only country in the world to leave the Paris climate agreement.

If the rest of the world was laughing at us before, now they’re fucking pissed that their bossy, semi-literate older cousin is going to keep screwing up the planet for everyone.

In Berlin, German Chancellor Angela Merkel said Trump’s decision won’t stop the rest of the world from combatting climate change.

“The decision of the United States is extremely regrettable — and I am expressing myself very reservedly,” Merkel said, as quoted by Politico Europe. “This decision cannot and will not…stop us. To the contrary, Germany, Europe and the rest of the world will more determined than ever bundle their powers… to successfully tackle these challenges.”

Germany also joined France and Italy with a statement making clear that the three countries have no intention of reopening negotiations on the deal, which Trump said in his announcement that he would pursue.

“We deem the momentum generated in Paris in December 2015 irreversible, and we firmly believe that the Paris agreement cannot be renegotiated since it is a vital instrument for our planet, societies and economies,” French President Emmanuel Macron, Italian Prime Minister Paolo Gentiloni, and Merkel said in a joint statement.


Macron also took a direct shot at Trump in his televised address about the decision on Thursday: “We all share our responsibility: Make our planet great again.”


  • Fox News’ Kimberly Guilfoyle, a co-host of “The Five” who was once reportedly in the running for White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer’s job, said Trump called her for advice on the Paris agreement ahead of his decision. Please help me, I’m dying here.
  • Fake posters in Washington D.C. urged members of the public to turn in their neighbors to Immigration and Customs Enforcement officials. Very cool prank/performance art/activism!
  • As if they haven’t done enough already, the Trump administration asked the Supreme Court to revive its dead on arrival revised Muslim travel ban.

TGIF, everyone!

Managing Editor, Splinter