Justyn and Trustin: How to Deal With Spoilers

Justyn and Trustin are just two Y.U.Ms trying to navigate this fast-paced modern world with a dream in their hearts and a slouchy beanie on their heads. And they have some advice for you along the way, you funky dope millennial. Follow along as Justyn provides a good example of what to DO, and Trustin offers an example of what NOT to do when dealing with life’s everyday problems. Think of them as Goofus and Gallant for a new generation, all grown up and wearing premium denim.

Spoilers

The futon felt simultaneously sticky and crunchy, covered as it was in a local craft beer with notes of oak and honey and the remnants of various wasabi-dusted kale chips.

“Dawg,” said Justyn. “It’s Sunday night.”

“Bro,” replied Trustin. “That means just one thing.”

“Game of Thrones!” “Talking about our dreams!”

A pause.

“Oh, yeah. I mean Game of Thrones.”

“Dude,” Justyn turned to Trustin, his eyes gleaming behind his Warby Parkers. “We can totally talk about our dreams if you want.”

“Nah. It’s really ok.” Trustin adjusted his hunter green Brooklyn Industries parka nervously.

“You’re my brother, cousin. Your dreams are my dreams. Let’s hear ‘em.”

And so Game of Thrones was saved for another day… a day that would come after Justyn and Trustin, unbeknownst to one another, both had the episode spoiled by co-workers, Facebook friends, and the whole of Twitter.

So. How should they deal with it?

Justyn

Justyn avoids talking about the show to those he knows have not seen it, and is sure to preface any written thoughts about the show with a clear “SPOILER ALERT” warning across Twitter, Facebook, and other social media platforms. To avoid temptation, Justyn primarily sticks to discussion in specially appointed message boards and comments threads with like-minded fans.

When the two sit down to watch the show, Justyn keeps his opinions and his knowledge of upcoming events to himself, merely drinking in the sublime magic and heaving bosoms unfolding before his eyes.

Trustin

Trustin talks about the show at every turn, loudly and indiscriminately. He is sure to mention specific plot points, so that others may know he is totally not kidding about knowing what has happened. He does this by approaching people and, in a voice rife with a carefully practiced smug sort of nonchalance, asking “so what did you think about that part when the girl with the normcore haircut stabbed that dude in the face?”

Later, when he and Justyn get around to actually watching the episode, Trustin is sure to laugh or gasp in anticipation of jokes and cool murders, respectively.