Kendall Jenner Discovers The True Joy Of Pepsi Comes From Ripping Off Protest Movements

Remember that moment after Donald Trump was inaugurated, and everybody felt like they needed to do something, say something, that now was the time to unite and express solidarity, extract some hope from the dark cloud of uncertainty that was now settling upon the nation? Remember how cathartic, how wonderful it felt to be out there in the street with your fellow human beings?

Well, it was nothing compared to the joy of drinking Pepsi, as this new ad starring none other than Kendall Jenner clearly shows.

The ad contains: a march, a protest for peace (or just peace signs, I don’t know, the signs don’t seem to actually be advocating for anything), a lot of denim-clad people in size 2s and 4s, a woman in a hijab, a handsome, racially ambiguous man, and Kendall Jenner.

Because when you think of the resistance, you of course think of a Kardashian.

But guys, let’s not rush to judgment. Let’s focus on the journey Jenner takes here. She starts off as a vapid bystander, just a beautiful blonde trying to take sone snaps for her monetized ‘gram as the revolution teems in the streets.

But PLOT TWIST. Jenner gets woke! And—tired of systemic oppression and injustice—snatches the blonde wig off her head, removes her purple lipstick, and enters into the fray.

¡Viva la revolución! Finally! The rich and the poor and the skinny and the skinnier have united to overthrow the chains of capitalism and deliver to the people the promise of our fou-

Oh, they’re just marching to give a cop a Pepsi.

As one Twitter user noted, the scene evokes the iconic image of Ieshia Evans, a woman protesting the death of Alton Sterling. Evans was captured on camera facing off against heavily armed police in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

Which is, you know, the same thing as a white woman worth $18 million offering a sexy cop a soda.

The lesson here: freedom isn’t freedom without Pepsi.

We have reached out to Kendall Jenner’s representatives, and will update this post if we hear back.