Illustration for article titled Kirsten Gillibrand: Just Wanted to Circle Back, Im Running For President
Photo: Scott Olson (Getty)

Kirsten Gillibrand is running for president. Wow! Thanks for letting us know. Here is her “I’m running for president” video:


“That’s weird,” you might say. “I thought... Kirsten Gillibrand was already running for president?” Hm. I can see why you would think that. But no. You are wrong!

Back in January, Kirsten Gillibrand announced on Stephen Colbert’s late night TV show that she was forming an “exploratory committee” to run for president. “That sounds like running for president,” you might say. Sorry! Still wrong. She was not technically running for president. But now she is! Glad we cleared all that up.

“Wait, no, but she was already running for president. This is all incredibly dumb. Why make two announcements,” you might say after that. To which I would say... it is different now, she has a video and, it seems, a slogan! The slogan is “Brave Wins.” “That’s a dumb slogan,” you might say. To which I would say. Hm. Yes. I am beginning to agree with you. Brave wins? More like... dumb wins. That’s actually a true slogan, considering that we have an actual moron in the White House.

Here’s information about Kirsten Gillibrand’s first rally as a presidential candidate. It is different from the other events she’s done like the good one with the Ranch woman:


This one is in front of a Trump building! Wow. There will probably be cops there, and they will probably not arrest Kirsten Gillibrand, and Trump will not be there, so I am not 100 percent sure what is brave about this but. Nevertheless. Just want to touch base one more time here: Kirsten Gillibrand is running for president!

Contributing Writer, Splinter

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