Last Person in the World We Needed to Hear From Says Bernie Looks Like a Crazy Man

Screenshot: ABC (YouTube)

In this vast universe of endless quantum possibilities and diverging fractal realities, I can’t think of a single, solitary instance in which anyone should give even the most casual of shits about what former New Jersey Governor and dedicated beach occupier Chris Christie has to say about the state of the Democratic Party... or anything else, really.

Unfortunately, reality is, and has always been, something of a bummer. And so for some unfathomable reason, Christie appeared on ABC’s This Week on Sunday to tell the American public that Bernie Sanders—one of the most popular politicians in the country—acts like too much of a cuckoo crazy person for his personal liking.

“Quite frankly, Sanders to me looked unglued,” Christie offered during a roundtable discussion on last week’s Democratic presidential debate.

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“His eyes were bulging out of his head,” Christie continued. “Visually, I could tell you because I was watching it on TV, he looked disturbing to me. That he really looked angry. And I don’t think that Democratic primary voters want angry. I think they want effective.”

For reference, this is what Christie looked like while commenting on Sanders’ physical appearance:

Screenshot: ABC (YouTube)

Is Christie—who enjoyed less than 15 percent approval from his fellow New Jersey-ites when he left office in 2018—the model for calm, reasoned debate? Let’s go to the tape.

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Here he is yelling at a guy at a baseball game:

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Here he is getting into a shouting match while hosting a sports radio show:

And here he is whining about whether or not a reporter is “stupid”:

But, yes Chris, please do lecture us a little more on being “unglued.”

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About the author

Rafi Schwartz

Senior writer. When in doubt he'll have the soup.