Photo: Alex Wong (Getty)

Folks, it’s CPAC time—those magical few days when some of the worst people on Earth gather under one roof to sniff each other’s butts in the name of freedom.

Following Thursday morning’s ritual denunciation of Democrats, the afternoon saw the main stage graced by none other than Fox News personality Laura Ingraham–a woman so virulently awful that her own brother went on the record to call her a “monster.” And, true to form, Ingraham used her time to jabber about who the real bigots in America are: Anyone who with the unmitigated gall to criticize CPAC conservatives for being extremely racist.

“African-Americans, Latinos, young people will have more freedom and more economic opportunity in these years than they will have ever had before,” Ingraham told the applauding crowd.

She continued:

If we aren’t afraid to preach this everywhere, to stand defiantly against the critics. Stand defiantly against those who would demonize you, silence you, take snippets of what you say and beam them all over the internet, call you a racist, call you a xenophobe, call you a misogynist, call you every “-ist” and “-ism” that could come to mind. Look right back at them and say, “You’re the real racist, you’re the real misogynist, you are anti-women because you think all women have to think like you.”

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Always a good sign of a healthy political ideology when the best advice one of the bulwarks of modern conservatism can muster is essentially, “I know you are, but what am I?”

Laura, please go back on “vacation” or wherever it was you went after advertisers got spooked that you might be just a little too horrible to sponsor these days. You’ll be happier. I’ll be happier. The world will be happier.