This Sunday, post-rehab (for now) Lindsay Lohan debuts her new docu-series on the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) where she attempts to salvage her career. After all, Lilo made paparazzi crotch-shots cool for the ginger community. From DUIs to a day visit in jail to becoming lesbian for attention, Lohan has thoroughly entertained our tabloid addiction because, well let’s be honest, her last real entertaining work was 2004’s Mean Girls (You’re not going to make “rehab” happen!) Here are five hot mess Lilo-isms we hope to see on Miss Let’s-hope-she-gets-it-right-this-time’s reality show.
1. Blush or oil change?
Remember all the fashion hits and misses Lilo had in court? Well, we’re sure we’ll see more but our favorite miss was this oil-change inspired make-up job. If you look at this photo out of the corner of your eye, at first glance she looks like a ghost at Disney’s Haunted Mansion. Or a “walker” from The Walking Dead.
2. AUI: Acting Under the Influence
Remember Lindsay’s performance in the flick I’m Going to Jail for Violating My Probation? Us too! After she was sentenced in court to 90 days behind bars (which she only served 14 days), the world’s most photographed ginger gave one of her best performances yet. If only that same emotion was applied to her Lifetime TV movie Liz & Dick. Here’s to hoping we see more of these ugly cry faces in ‘Lindsay’.
3. Lilo vs. Mama O
By the looks of the ‘Lindsay’ first-look trailer above, it seems Oprah makes Lilo sit through a “get your s—t together” life talk…or maybe she was mad because Lindsay wasn’t caught up with her reading list for Mama O’s book club. Either way, we just hope if Lindsay succeeds that Oprah gives her a car…with a driver.
4. If she drives again, it needs to be Herbie
If Oprah is feeling that generous, she would pay attention to detail and deliver Lindsay’s former co-car Herbie on a #tbt (because young people love nostalgia). This way she can let the vehicle drive itself and blame it next time she’s late to probation and court…and everything.
5. She pushes a girl in front of a bus
Since Lindsay is moved back to NYC (because there’s so much less cocaine and alcohol there) with her stable family (side eye), a great way to make her come to her senses is realizing how her actions are physically damaging people. We recommend Cady Heron as her therapist.