Literally nobody can figure out what this Mike Huckabee tweet means

Mike Huckabee, former evangelical preacher turned G-rated political comedian, was apparently seized by the spirit on Tuesday night, because the Fox News contributor tweeted a mysterious code that not even the most dedicated Biblical scholars could decipher.

Huckabee’s joke landed with a thud on Twitter, where nobody could figure out what the hell he even meant to say.

Let’s try to break this down. Huckabee notes, correctly, that the New Yorker endorsed Hillary Clinton for president in this week’s issue. He then uses the literary device “In related stories” to present a series of three presumably analogous scenarios.

1) “Wimpy endorsed hamburgers.”

Who is Wimpy? Why is he endorsing hamburgers? And why is his hamburger endorsement like the New Yorker endorsing Hillary Clinton? Does Wimpy eat hamburgers despite them being bad for his health? Was Wimpy coerced into liking hamburgers by liberal groupthink? Did Wimpy store his hamburgers on a private e-mail server? I have read this tweet a dozen times, and I have literally no idea what Huckabee is trying to say.

2) “Dracula endorsed blood banks.”

This one is more straightforward. Dracula loves blood and needs it to survive, so…Huckabee is saying that the New Yorker, a magazine beloved by cosmopolitan elites, stays alive by…endorsing Hillary Clinton? It’s a little strained, but I guess it works.

3) “Ticks endorsed Lyme disease.”

Presumably, ticks don’t like carrying Lyme disease, and they’re definitely not aware that they carry it. So why would ticks endorse Lyme disease? Is Huckabee saying that, by endorsing Hillary Clinton, the New Yorker is silently infecting the body politic with a disease, despite having no consciousness of doing so?

What we have learned tonight is that Mike Huckabee did horribly on the analogies portion of the SAT.