The army isn't happy to have all these horses around. No, sir, they don't like it.
The Associated Press reports the army is trying to find a way to deal with an estimated 700 horses that infest Louisiana's Fort Polk base like so many large, four-legged cockroaches. Having too many horses around sounds like an enchanting problem, but the army is not so taken with the animals, calling them "trespass horses."
A spokeswoman for the base told the AP sometimes training on the base has to be stopped to shoo the horses away. The soldiers also aren't too thrilled about the little gifts the horses leave behind in the form of manure. At least the base is well-fertilized now.
Part of the problem is that about 100,000 acres of Fort Polk is part of the larger Kisatchie National Forest. A spokesperson for the forest told the AP the animals are probably coming from people releasing horses they can no longer afford on the forest grounds. That's created problems for the forest as well, with the horses eating plants meant for hunting animals and to control erosion.
Now that we've established horses as a national security threat, what to do about them? Apparently the army tried sterilizing them in 2007, but new horses coming through the forest means that doesn't work very well. The AP notes the army has in the past captured the horses and placed them on nearby farms and horse ranches, but the most they've ever handled at once is 41.
The army held a public meeting yesterday in Leesville, La. Hopefully, our finest minds turned up and found a solution to our long national night-mare.
You see what I did there?