When talking about the most mysterious of body parts, the human vagina, one topic gets the most air time: pubic hair. We talk a lot about what women (and female mannequins) should be doing with their pubes. Should we shave it all off? WAX it all off? Go retro and boast a full bush? These options lead to other concerns, like, can one be a feminist and still get regular waxes? (Yes.) There's an entire spectrum of pubic hairstyle options available for women, and we're obsessed with discussing them.
But maybe it's time to turn our attention to a new subject. Prepare your electric shavers, because, men, it's your turn in the PUBE HOT SEAT.
A new paper, published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, seeks to answer the age-old question of what women look for in the Perfect Penis. The Swiss researchers behind the paper were working to "investigate how relevant women consider single aspects of penile appearance to be," and see if women in three age groups would perceive surgically repaired penises as "normal-looking."
The 105 women surveyed were asked to rank eight different singular penis traits on a scale of 1 to 5—with 1 being very unimportant, and 5 being very important. Those traits included things like length, girth, general cosmetic appearance, and, last but not least, pubic hair.
The results of the study revealed some things we already know. Women don't care all that much about penis length. The trait ranked sixth out of eight—really, we don't care!!! We get it! It's more about girth, anyways, and the study backs that up. Girth tied for third with "importance of penile skin."
Ranking first, as the most important physical penis trait, was "general cosmetic appearance." So what, then, comes in at number two—ranking in importance somewhere between cosmetic appearance and girth?
What else, but pubic hair! That's right, women surveyed care more about the state of male pubes than girth and skin quality, and MUCH more than length. This should come as good news—while there's not much one can do about girth or length (aside from penis enlargement injections—yikes!!!), the state of the hair that grows in your nether regions is totally within your control.
The study didn't go so far as to ask women which kind of pubic hairstyle they found the most appealing. Men can borrow some advice from female pube woes and figure out which style works best for them, or is the most comfortable, and work from there. The study also didn't ask the reasoning behind this silver-medal ranking. Could it perhaps reflect misguided anger? After decades of being told what to do with our own pubes, it's possible that women have started channeling frustrations onto unruly male pubes.
There's something to be said for a well-dressed, well-coiffed man. Tall, dark, handsome, and exquisitely manscaped. It shows you care enough to look down there every once in a while and think, Hey, maybe it's time for a trim! It's shows a level of consideration for your partner, too. Whatever you can do to make each other happy, do that, even if it means hacking away at an area that's never before seen the shimmering glean of a metal razor.
Let this be the dawning of a new era in sexual equality. Size is out and grooming is in. Male pubes are important to women—we now have the survey to prove it.
How much do you care about the state of a man's pubes? Tell us. We want to know.
Hannah Smothers is a reporter for Fusion's Sex & Life section, a Texpat, and a former homecoming princess.