Twitter/Bloomberg Politics

The NFL season is just around the corner. Here, Marco Rubio, who has been known to toss around the pigskin himself, previews some of the league’s quarterbacks.

Andy Dalton (CIN): Dalton is coming off a rough season, partly due to injuries to receivers A.J. Green and Marvin Jones. With those players healthy, Dalton should be back to normal, hitting both of those guys in the face with regularity.

Tom Brady (NE): Brady will miss the first four games of the regular season due to his role in the Deflategate controversy. When he comes back for Week 5, however, I fully expect him to really be hitting his receivers in the face.

Jameis Winston (TB): The rookie QB has speed, but the question remains: Can he nail his receivers in the face with his passes? I’m not so sure.

Geno Smith (NYJ): Smith was punched in the face during a locker room scuffle and will miss 6-10 weeks. That’s too bad, because it should be the quarterback that’s hitting his teammates in the face, and not the other way around.

Advertisement

Peyton Manning (DEN): Manning is looking a little long-in-the-tooth, but that doesn’t mean he can’t still throw the ball long, and hit his receivers in the teeth, just like in the old days.

Teddy Bridgewater (ARI): Being a quarterback is all about loading up with the football, throwing it as hard as you possibly can, and then destroying your receiver’s face. Rookie Teddy Bridgewater just hasn’t shown he can do that yet. Has he even hit one of his receivers in the face this preseason?

Aaron Rodgers (GB): Rodgers is an elite quarterback, doing what elite quarterbacks do: Annihilating the faces and surrounding cranial features of his teammates with the football. There’s no reason Rodgers can’t continue to pound his receivers’ faces in a weak NFC North.

Advertisement

Ryan Tannehill (MIA): Tannehill is poised for a breakout season. If I’m a Dolphins receiver, I’m expecting to get hit in the face by Tannehill passes a lot this year.

Russell Wilson (SEA): Wilson's season ended at the Super Bowl, when a potential game-winning pass was intercepted on the 1-yard line. After that heartbreak, Wilson should be more inspired than ever to hit his receivers in the face.

Kirk Cousins (WAS): Avoid at all costs. This guy couldn’t hit the broadside of a child’s face.

Advertisement


PREVIOUSLY: Watch Marco Rubio nail a kid in the face with a football