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What are we reading this morning? Take a look for yourself. Here's a link dump to go with that cup o' joe:

Buried in this story about NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell is the fact that he's not opposed to players using medical marijuana in states that allow it.

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In what's clearly the smartest idea ever—it's not—a couple is letting Reddit users name their baby. Surprisingly, the winning name so far is actually not bad.

Couples without children are happier, says obvious study.

The West Virginian communities affected by the recent chemical spill only have enough emergency water for a couple more days.

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On a side note, did you know that the chemical processing company behind the spill is actually—no joke—called Freedom Industries? Their tagline must read something like "FREEDOM
INDUSTRIES: Expounding American patriotism and virtues while contaminating their water supply since 1948." Anyway, find out more about this company.

Pope Francis—often referred to as "Hipster Pope" by my 20-something friends, not as liberal as everyone's painting him out to be. In a recent interview, he not so tactfully claimed that abortion was a symptom of our "throwaway culture."

Cats think of humans as larger and dumber versions of themselves. We're basically the Lennie to their George Milton (yes, that's a reference Of Mice And Men, a book you only read because you had to for school).

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There is such a thing as a Backstreet Boys cruise and it sounds about as crazy as the Kid Rock Cruise (yes, it's a real thing).

These German cells used to punish students are better than whatever dorm room you lived in.

Next time you go to Australia, look inside the toilet to make sure there are no snakes hanging out inside the bowl. Better yet, just avoid Australia altogether.

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Fidel Martinez is an editor at Fusion.net. He's also a Texas native and a lifelong El Tri fan.