Oh, you don't have kids and you're still single? Well, Happy Biological Clock Day!
There's no denying the familial pressure many women face to get married and have kids. Especially when they hit their late 20s and early 30s. It's like your biological clock isn't determined by genetics as much as it is your parent's want for grandkids (diapers, gross). But does this same mental worry of marriage and children affect men to the same degree?
Aside from the potential medical risks doctors believe may occur if waiting too long to have kids, we asked a diverse group of men varied in age and culture if they feel or have felt the effects of a supposed "biological clock", be it from their family or even themselves.
26-year-old Andrew Godfrey, an IT expert of Indian and Irish parents, says he is starting to feel the pressure as he approaches the big 3-0 but that more of the issue is not so much his family as it is outdated societal traditions. "They [my parents] make comments like I'm getting older and need to consider getting married and having kids," says Godfrey. "They want that for me. I believe society and previous notions of how to live your 20s are still being placed on our generation. Before for our parents it was cut and dry. At the moment I don't want kids; too much in my life to figure out."
Meanwhile, 24-year-old half-Puerto Rican, half-Dominican musician Cesar De La Rosa believes growing up in a Hispanic household has naturally made him want to get married and have kids as the family unit was strongly enforced growing up. And now he's enforcing the biological clock upon himself. He states, "They [my parents] had me when they turned 22. I'm 24 now. I know I'm probably going to wait till I achieve a couple more personal goals but I know the longer the wait, the deeper the burn." Cesar adds, "And the louder the ticks are of that damn clock."
Could this "biological clock" for men be motivated by religion?
As a new dad at age 31, former Los Angeles resident and Utah native Michael Collard (also raised with a family mentality) thinks marriage and kids is definitely a topic on men's minds, although not nearly as often as women's. "In Utah, with the local religious 'focus on the family' culture, I think the difference between men and women is much smaller than in other parts of the U.S. In LA, getting married and settling down always seemed like the last thing on men's minds." He continues, "I always knew I wanted to be married by 30 (I got married when I was 28) and that I wanted to start having kids by my early 30s (I just had my first kid at 31)."
While some men plan on a family, others are still taking it day-by-day.
"I'm directing traffic at this point," says David Millis of Tampa, FL. In his mid-30s and in a committed relationship, David feels age is nothing but a number and has everything to do with your mentality. "We can have a baby any time before 60 if we want," asserts David. "I won't acknowledge age; it's happiness I measure."
Godfrey chimes in agreeably saying, "The notion of being too old is rather silly seeing how a percentage of us try to take care of ourselves. The point I'm making is that if you take care of yourself now then having kids when you're 30 or 35 or 40 won't be that bad."
Not every man finds it ideal to be chasing around a newborn in your 60s, including 28-year-old Andrew Faraone.
Even though his girlfriend has a 6-year-old daughter from a previous relationship, Andrew has none yet of his own. "I do hear the older you are the odds diminish," states Andrew. "I sometimes worry about my child having an old decrepit father if I were to have a child late in life."
Clearly, you can see men, from all walks of life, have differentiated opinions about determining when the "right time" is. Be it marriage or kids, both women and men seem to toil with the idea of having their "biological clock" hour glass dwindle before their very existence.
But just remember: you can always just adopt a dog or cat. Just saying.