Illustration for article titled Mitch McConnell Isnt Even Trying to Pretend He Cares About School Shootingsem/em
Photo: Susan Walsh (AP)

Senate Majority Leader and heartless goblin Mitch McConnell wants us to know that while school shootings are, like, a total bummer, he—arguably the most powerful politician outside of the president of the United States—can’t really do anything about it. Oh well.


Speaking to a group of constituents in Danville, KY, this week, McConnell claimed Congress was essentially powerless to stop gun violence in America, because, as he put it, “at the federal level there’s much that we can do other than appropriate funds.”

Well Mitch, better pack the whole thing in and call it a day then!

He continued:

You would think, given how much it takes to get on an American plane or given how much it takes to get into courthouses, that this might be something that we could achieve, but I don’t think we could do that from Washington, I think it’s basically a local decision.


Weird, and here I thought all the hoops someone has to go through to get on an American plane were thanks to the TSA, which is part of the Department of Homeland Security, which is a...federal agency. (Incidentally, one of the votes in favor of creating the DHS back in 2002 was cast by none other than Mitch McConnell.)

But lest you think McConnell is merely an asshole who feigns helplessness while foisting national problems onto local municipalities, he had this to offer to the good people of Danville (emphasis mine):

It’s a darn shame that’s where we are but this epidemic is something that’s got all of our attention. And I know it’s got the attention of every school superintendent in the country.

Golly. The next time someone legally buys a semi-automatic rifle and uses it to murder children in their classrooms, remember folks: It’s not a tragedy, it’s just a darn shame.

Senior writer. When in doubt he'll have the soup.

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