My goodness, these old cocaine ads!

The United States’ War on Drugs officially started in 1986 with the passage of the Anti-Drug Abuse Act, a law that, among other things, imposed harsher sentencing on crack cocaine possession as opposed to normal cocaine.

For years, until the 2010 Fair Sentencing Act brought the numbers a little closer to even, the ratio has been really skewed. Is this because cocaine is traditionally seen as a white people drug and crack is more “urban?” Probably!

A lesser known aspect of the Anti-Drug Abuse Act, however, is that it made it illegal to “sell, transport through the mail, transport across state lines, import, or export drug paraphernalia as defined.”

Before that, there were apparently a whole lot of magazine ads trying to get you to buy products to make your cocaine experience as 100-emoji as possible. Let’s take a look at the tape!

[turns on Steely Dan]

Thanks to The World’s Best Ever, we can take a look back at these old magazine ads that appeared in publications like High Times and Hustler. They are for a whole host of products that were intended to make it as easy as possible for you to recreate that one scene in Scarface.

Some highlights:

This 14K gold “shoveler,” a real steal at $75 bucks.

Or perhaps you might be more interested in this vacuum cleaner with a “v-groove bottom?”

But be wary when you travel back in time: scam artists were alive and well and ready to take your hard-earned money that could have been spent on real cocaine.

“But, wait. Where am I supposed to consume all of this illegal narcotic? Some sort of jade slab?”

Yes!

When you’re all set, you’ll need something to flush out your nose. Do you want a civilized alternative to wet fingers? Of course you do! Try this product.

It’s always fun to look back at pop culture artifacts and jokingly ask, “What were they on?” In this case, the answer is probably “cocaine.”

Peruse World’s Best Ever for even more of these vintage ads and a bunch of “toot” puns that your one uncle who lived on a boat in San Diego for a while will really appreciate.

[H/T Dangerous Minds]

David Matthews operates the Wayback Machine on Fusion.net—hop on. Got a tip? Email him: [email protected]