NatSec Chiefs Reportedly Thought It Was Laugh Out Loud Funny When Trump Called Casino Robbery a 'Terrorist Attack'

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Just before President Donald Trump announced his plan to doom the planet on Thursday, he took a brief moment to shout out what he deemed a “terrorist attack” in the Philippines.


“I would like to begin by addressing the terrorist attack in Manila,” Trump declared. “We’re closely monitoring the situation and I will continue to give updates if anything happens during this period of time but it is really very sad as to what is going on throughout the world with terror.”

Big Brother-ish implications of the president’s promise to “give updates” aside, there was one larger problem with Trump’s opening remarks—the very sad “terrorist attack” wasn’t an act of terror at all. It was a robbery.

“This particular situation in Manila is not related in any way to a terrorist attack,” a spokesperson for Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte told CNN. Instead, authorities are investigating the attack on the casino section of Resorts World Manila, which left 37 people dead—largely due to smoke inhalation, after the suspect lit several gaming tables on fire—as a robbery.

While Trump didn’t elaborate on why he chose to deem the suspected robbery a “terrorist attack,” Press Secretary Sean Spicer later told reporters that it was because an initial briefing on the incident had included media reports suggesting ISIS had taken credit—media reports which the president then stated as fact from the White House Rose Garden.

More alarming still is the fact that as Trump was being wagged by his own media-consumption tail, the president’s intelligence advisers were reportedly cracking up at the whole thing.


Ha Ha Ha.

Because, hey, you can’t laugh at a a commander-in-chief whose rhetorical “freelancing” leaves him divorced from reality, what can you laugh at, right?

Senior writer. When in doubt he'll have the soup.