Photo: John Locher (AP)

I absolutely love fairs: winning blue ribbons (for quilting, yes, I am cool), screaming on rides, seeing very cheap concerts, sunburns, frozen lemonades melting down your arm, and most of all, eating the grossest food on the planet. It’s absolute heaven.

That’s why I was so concerned when I realized that the 2020 presidential candidates were descending on the Iowa State Fair en masse this week. How would all these people eat!? I guess older candidates watching their cholesterol could take the hit for one day — or go the sweet corn route like Sen. Amy Klobuchar (D-MN). Sure, vegetarian Rep. Tulsi Gabbard (D-HI) could gorge herself on sweets like a deep fried Oreo. But what will vegan Sen. Cory Booker (D-NJ) eat???

Luckily, Washington Post reporter Cleve R. Woodson Jr. is on the case: Booker ate “fried pb&j and fried pickles, washed down with water, for anyone keeping score.”

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It’s me, I’m keeping score.

I know we need to eat less meat for the planet’s sake, but state fairs are for trying the most ridiculous concoctions! I wish Booker’s dietary choices let him experience the magic that is a footlong corn dog or a deep fried jumbo Oreo or Dippin’ Dots! They do make a vegan flavor, you know.